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have a laugh

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have a laugh

Post by ht hillbilly on 16/7/2009, 3:31 am

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for 50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed him a full George Best breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage & tomato with freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a 5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the five quid for?'

'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.'

He said, 'F*#k him. Give him a fiver.' She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.'
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Re: have a laugh

Post by Vannin on 16/7/2009, 12:19 pm

love it!!!!!!!! having several laughs..... Ta!
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Re: have a laugh

Post by Ramble on 16/7/2009, 12:29 pm

What will postman pat be known as when he retires
*
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*
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PAT
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Re: have a laugh

Post by Pawso1 on 17/7/2009, 3:10 am

solid
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Re: have a laugh

Post by highwaymenace on 21/7/2009, 1:52 pm

Three men - an Australian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a
Biker are all walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total',
Says the Genie.


The Australian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Australia '
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Australia was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Australians can come into our precious land.'
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Biker says,'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lites a joint, smiles and says,
'Fill it with water.'


I pretty much vote this my favorite email of the year....

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Re: have a laugh

Post by ht hillbilly on 16/8/2009, 11:14 am

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.


The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'
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Re: have a laugh

Post by Guest on 24/8/2009, 1:48 pm

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.

After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly,
"Wow, She's fat!
The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet...

A couple more minutes passed by and the little boy stretched his arms out as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her bum is this wide!"
The fat woman turned around and glared at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet.

After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue.
Just then her pager began to emit a "beep, beep, beep"
The little boy yelled out, "Run for your f*****g life, she's reversing!!"*

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Re: have a laugh

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